is it the weekend yet?

i slept in this morning,
planned on making brunch for nick- you know, waffles, eggs, hash browns, etc., so it would be ready for him when he got back from school around 11:30 and we could stuff our faces.
i had to go to the store to buy milk.
but i didn't want to drive in a car, no, i wanted to walk.
with koda.
to the market.
so, naturally, i had to make a new leash for her, just out of fabric or something.
and as i'm sitting down to the sewing machine, still in my pajamas, i get a call.
"hey, i'm not feeling well, could you come in to work?"
sure thing! no baby mama is going to work all day when she's sick.
so i get all fancied up and start to leave, and i get a call,
"hey! my class is cancelled today so i can come home right now!"
oh, hey nick. i'm on my way to work.
so he met me at primary's and i gave him the truck.
then i worked.
then i wondered, what am i going to do all day?
and then i thought, is it the weekend yet?
and then i was all, No, it's not.

the end.

the baby hungries.

i don't know what it is about sacrament meeting that makes babies seem so... awesome.
maybe it's because they run up and down the aisles during the prayer,
make the most perfect pouty faces,
and look so dang cute in their fancy shmancy teeny tiny sunday clothes. {it's hard to admit that a 2 year old has better clothes than me, so i won't.}
i don't know.
but something about yesterday's meeting that was magical, because nick pulled out an old receipt from my wallet and started jotting down baby names. we even pulled out his iphone and looked up baby names {i know, we're heathens.}
he rejected my proposals of "lorenzo" and "sir ulrich van lichtenstein" for a boy and "mia" for a girl {i think mia hammer would be AWESOME.} so i turned right around and crossed out anything that reminds me of twilight or resembles anyone i know for girl's names. so we were even.
it was still fun though! when we do have mini hammers {ha!} they will be the cutest, most creative things in the world.
however, we don't need a baby.
we already have a dog that chews up the carpet {she did it again.} and destroys her puppy bed.
at least she can walk everywhere all by herself...
she even makes me pick her up when i'm doing something on a counter like putting on makeup or doing the dishes, wakes us up at 7 in the morning, and always wants to play. always. also, she follows me in the bathroom and jumps on my lap when i pee.
we don't need a baby.
but it's always fun to fantasize!

happy fall, y'all!

here's how ours is:

1. sleep in while nick goes to class. {well, after i take him to class.}
2. eat homemade mac & cheese for lunch {that we made last night, yeah us!}
3. cuddle.
4. trade in books for cash, get money for date night.
5. D.I. shopping magic
6. treats at Sonic for Happy Hour
7. date at Red Robin after work!
8. rent a movie & get ice cream
9. make a blanket fort
10. be awesome.

hope your first day of fall is just as fantabulous!

i hate twilight

okay, not really.
well, yes.
anyways.
i've been searching for more productive ways to spend my time here at work when all of my job is finished.
{i'm quite fast at what i do. i even tried slowing down today, and i still have 3 hours to go. i don't own a crochet needle, knitting needles, or things to make things with either.}
so i ended up on my favorite high school website: sparknotes.
i had forgotten that mr. bergstein blogs about these jewels.. and i had to read.

this is from "Blogging Breaking Dawn: Part 5"

EDWARD: We can't have nude passion again, Lamb, because it will kill you.

BELLA: No it won't. I'm fine! I'm totally fine!
EDWARD: You don't understand. I lost control last night. I took one of your kidneys.
BELLA: You did what?
EDWARD: I lost control and was overpowered by lust. Stealing your kidney just felt like the right thing to do. You didn't notice because you were in the throes of passion.
BELLA: No biggie. I have another kidney. I'll just hide my second one next time, maybe shove it down to my ankle. Then you can't get it. [TRIES TO MOVE HER REMAINING KIDNEY WITH A ROLLING PIN]
EDWARD: It's still too dangerous. I did more than steal your kidney…
BELLA: What else did you do to me?
EDWARD: Well, in the heat of the moment, I gave you a cavity. A deep one.
BELLA: Really?
EDWARD: [ASHAMED] Yes. I lost control, Bella. This is what I was afraid of.
BELLA: A cavity isn't a huge deal. I can go to the dentist.
EDWARD: But there's more. At about 2 a.m., when you left to get a drink of water, I posted a Facebook picture of you on the toilet. I…I lost control Bella.
BELLA: What?
EDWARD: I knew this would happen. I couldn't control my actions. I was running on pure animal instincts. Overwhelmed with passion, posting that photo just felt right. I'm sorry.
BELLA: That doesn't make sense.
EDWARD: I also wrote, "Fat Chick" on your back with a permanent marker.
BELLA:…
EDWARD: See! I told you it was dangerous. When you're a vampire, things will be different.
BELLA: It's OK. Really. By the way, why are my nostrils glued shut?
EDWARD: It's not my fault, Lamb. It's the passion. Well, the passion and the glue.

haha so great!!

a lengthy post about life and stuff. enjoy, hobos.

i like where i am...
i wrote this yesterday, because it was kind of perfect.
i woke up to a series of events that included koda maliciously licking my face, nick's daily "good morning, beautiful!" a trip to and from the U (my husbands such a big boy at his big boy school.) & koda disturbing my driving 100% of the trip the way she usually does by sticking her face just far enough out of the door so she can rest her head on the open window & not move from my lap-- ever.
i came home, watched something on the news, cleaned up a bit, took a shower, and got ready.
katherine (a co-worker) made some homemade soap about 2 weeks ago and gave us each a little bit, and i don't know what i've done with my life without it. it's practically perfect in every way, and my face is loving the TLC. (i don't even have to use lotion!)
so, that shower was a success.
then i let my hair go all curly & put on some underwear that smelled like tacos (i don't know why our washer does that, but what choice do i have? everything else is dirty.) so i loaded it with some Vicky's "pure seduction" & i think that did the trick. maybe.
following, i put on my favorite pair of big girl pants and stuck that pretty little wedding ring on my finger.
just then the relief society stopped by to say hey
there's this girl named ellen, she's in the presidency, we're friends.
she has two kids that make me cry because they're so cute & they have eyes the size of baby worlds, and she brought them along.
we had a nice little chat in the backyard.
then i went to the kitchen & pulled out my big girl cook book (did you know if you get a better homes & garden cookbook you get a free 12 month subscription to the magazine, too? i'm so excited.)
& was a pro at putting foodses in the crock pot-- first timer, aaww yeah!
i set it on low and went graciously out the door (some days i'm more than grateful that my hair is naturally curly.) no, seriously, someone probably should have filmed it-- i put on those heels, slapped some lipgloss on those beauties, petted my puppy goodbye, and looked like a super star walking to that truck.
oh, it is illegal to park next to the garbage cans on garbage day? whilst in the shower, i heard the garbage man come by & wondered if he'd be irritated by my parking job.
work has taken a long time. i look at the clock and go "hey it must be almost--- nope, still a bajillion more hours."
9 hour days are getting easier, however.
i'm so grateful for the knowledge that i have & that i'm able to help so many people with my job.
even now, as i write, family members of a patient are sitting in the inpatient waiting room watching "the game" on our tv.
we even have new beanie babies to give to the kids who come in, i love that.
nick has finally started work, yeah baby!
now we just have to wait for his income.... :)
other than that, life is peachy.
i'm going to go home tonight, ladle me a big bowl of stew, and watch the office as i cuddle with my sweetums under my soft pink blanket.
little things that used to bother me just don't anymore, i am perfectly content with my life in every way.
nick and i have been married for a half of a year, a whole 6 months have gone by & i almost can't believe it.
but they weren't kidding when they said the first 6-12 months are the hardest. and the best.
i'm excited for fall-- then again, who isn't?
halloween is my favorite (tied with christmas) holiday ever.
& fall, though short-lived in this frozen desert, is my favorite season.
maybe this winter i'll learn to snowboard & like the snow.
my outlook on life has changed-- i like to see the good in life now, instead of critizing all things to the bone.
& i like it.
you know when you can feel that God is shaping and molding you into the person you're meant to become?
that's how i feel these days.
as if everything inside of me is changing for the better, like i'm letting pure love soak into every inch of my soul and make me familiarly happy.
little moments seem big & wonderful, even when i see the word "wonderful" i mentally see sparkles & magic wands & people putting their hands in the air while looking into nothingness. (yeah, it's that awesome)
& the way people feel about me or think about me aren't important anymore.
all that matters is that i'm happy and i like celebrating my life the way i know how.
because, in the end, we're all just a bunch of kids trying to get home.

& that's the way it is.

mrs. warby once said....

she was the bomb.

i wanna run through the halls of my high school

my beautiful sister meghan's homecoming was last night

and she asked me to take pictures for her and her group

and it was a blast!

except...

the rest of the group didn't show up until an hour after the original time.

it was sad because i didn't have the external flash,

and i hate using flash,

so it was hard taking pictures in what little light i had

at the end of the night.

but still, successful nonetheless

check them out! what gorgeous people.

today i'm just grateful

i'm so grateful for everything today.
i'm grateful for my warm bed that i can cuddle in.
i'm grateful for my job
& for my wonderful husband who gets me flowers and plans amazing birthdays for me and is doing so well in school and never gives up and loves me no matter what
i'm grateful for my family
my friends
my koda
my apartment
sleep
& my pajamas.
i'm grateful for me,
for all of my clothes & things
& all of my loves and interests.
i'm grateful for music
lyrics
my ukulele that i can put sparkles on
for all the wonderful blessings i've been given
church
my ward
the gospel
& most of all, my Savior.

now it's your turn to have a wonderful, grateful day!
what if you woke up today with only the things you thanked god for yesterday?

the best birthday of my life

so first of all, i am finally 19!

it's such a relief to be not 18 anymore.

and it was the best day ever.

{and remember, i had no idea about anything that was happening.

nick planned this whole day by himself & didn't tell me a single thing.}

so.... we woke up, 

and we had over-raised cinnamon rolls for breakfast

{they were tasty!}

then as i was getting ready,

nick handed me a new curling iron! yeah!

then we drove around SLC, 

returned a bristol board pad that i got for a class

and then...

we ended up at a salon/boutique

where nick had arranged an appointment

for me to get my hair done!

before...

after!

{she cut my bangs a little short...

and the blonde streak is like, 

not even there! but that's totally fine,

because i still love the color & cut!}

then we went back to the apartment,

where he gave me a sephora gift card from him and jason

{aww!}

so we went to fashion place mall

{and we saw cross country roller-bladers?}

oh, hello.

what exactly is my hand doing?

i gots new makeup because i'm almost out

& because it was my birthday i got a free

birthday cake scented body wash!

then we went all the way back to salt lake

to the gateway

where we had tucanos for a late lunch/early dinner

{i was trying to take the pictures fast

so i didn't get in trouble.}

then we walked around the gateway

look at that handsome devil.

as we were walking back to the car,

we realized that we'd only put an hour and 42 minutes worth of quarters into the meter

and we had been out of the car for almost 3 hours {oops.}

so i'm freaking out

but we get to the car,

and there is no ticket or nothing!

it was AWESOME.

and on the way home,

i got a call from my wonderful tiffy!

{she did a beautiful post about me on her blog.. it made me cry!}

then...

my whole family & nick's parents & jason

all came over for cake!

{carrot cake, and it was delicious!}

i also got a sewing machine!! from nick's parents!

yeah!!

and my family gave me a container of chocolate covered raisins.

a fantabulously great birthday, right?

the best!

but wait, there's more.

right as i was going to bed,

nick goes, "oh, i almost forgot."

and pulls out 

photoshop

from his nightstand and hands it to me.

i'm like, get out?! awesome!

& it really was the best birthday ever.

i love my husband so much!

ah! ♥

when i get ready,

i pretend i'm a movie star.

i'll purse my lips a lot

make "surprised" faces, like "what, me?"

and squint my eyes all sexily.

& i talk to myself.

i love bareminerals as my only foundation

put black eyeliner on

dark brown shadow over my lid

bronze eyeshadow below my brow

blend.

hardly ever wear mascara.

liplites vanilla swirl lipgloss

and a touch of bronzer on my cheeks.

i love you america- 9/11

10 years ago, i was almost 9.

it must have been early in the morning, because i remember waking up to the sound of 

my grandma watching the tv with my mom.

i heard the worried tone in their voices and rushed into her room

because i thought something had happened to my dad.

nobody spoke to me as i came in,

but my attention was quickly diverted to the smokey building on the screen.

what was going on?

oh, it must be a movie.

wait, no, it's on the news, so it must be real.

but why?

what's wrong with it?

after that, my mom explained that a plane had crashed into the building.

i couldn't understand why something like that would happen.

it was mere minutes before i saw the second plane,

my mom kept saying, "it's gonna fall, it has to fall soon"

and it did.

both of them.

i remember being so confused,

wordless,

breathless.

i was only 8, but i knew something was terribly wrong

& could only slightly comprehend the severity of the situation.

i didn't go straight to school that day

because i had a dentist appointment,

but they had the news on the office tv

and the radio was on.

nobody was talking

nobody was smiling.

later that day my dad asked me what i thought about "all of this".

i wish i could have pulled my thoughts together into an intelligent sentence, something along the lines of:

"why is this happening? who did this? that osama guy must be pretty bad. it hurts. i feel so bad for all the family members in that building. is america okay? i'm glad you weren't in that building. what's going to happen now; will this happen again? should we be afraid?" however, i didn't want to seem silly or melodramatic.

so i just shrugged my shoulders and said, "i don't know."

but i did.

i guess that, in a way, my 8 year old brain couldn't see what the rest of the world saw

or couldn't imagine someone being that evil

or a tragedy of that magnitude happening here in america.

but it did.

and, as cheesy as this sounds, 

we really shouldn't forget how america came together, and how strong we really are.

i'm glad i can walk out of my front door on a daily basis and not be scared or afraid. 

i'm so grateful for america; those fighting for it, and those who died for it's cause.

i pray that God will continue to bless America, that he will take those who died on that one day 10 years ago in his arms & say, "see what they can do?" as he continues to comfort their families down here. 

actually, i really don't know what i'm trying to say.

but i was there. 

& i love america. 

the triple S

saturday = soccer and shopping.

nick and i woke up saturday morning at 6 freaking a.m. so nick could go play soccer in provo.
after that game, we went to my parent's house where my mom, my sister, and i went
to wingers for my birthday lunch!
i got a sticky finger quesadilla {which is the best thing in their menu, except their wings.} with a vanilla lemonade & a free asphalt pie :) then we went to the mall for...
birthday shopping! wooohh
i got super, super cute clothes... which i am so excited to wear.
i can't express how grateful i am for my mommy & for taking me shopping & having nice clothes to wear.
i have the perfect birthday outfit picked out because of her....
then, after we went shopping,
we went to my sister's soccer game where i yelled at the stupid refs the whole time
and people gave me dirty looks.
then after her game, my dad took her and nick took me to the
byu women's soccer game
where we partied and had hot dogs and drinks and it was just a blast.
then i talked to my sister for a bit, and we went back home
and we played the ABC game the whole way.
it really was an amazing day!

pinterest humor

fun with the mac

labor day.. we had nothing to do.
so we sat around in our pajamas and did homework and listened to music.

i got on his computer to get some pictures,
and we took some more.

& furthermore

- i have a strange dislike for people i wish i could be.
- my finger nails are currently painted black & i like it.
- a normal person shouldn't have to pee this often.
- i can't decide whether i like 9 hour work days or not.
- it's my birthday in 4 days.
- i want to have an apple party when all the apples are ripe for the picking.
- i really really don't like doing dishes.
- i really really love fall and winter
- my favorite holiday is.... october.
- why does the waitlist for the radiologic technology program at SLCC have to be so stinking long?
- i can't decide what i want to do with my life.
- what is my hair currently doing?
- i've eaten way too much sugar lately.
- on the contrary, i've started working out. again.
- Even if you’re on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.
- i wish i had a garden.
- i eat a grape pb&j sandwich & a cup of fruit for lunch on tuesdays and thursdays
- i need an iphone so i don't have to keep stealing nick's
- i'm so grateful for everything i have.
- what if you woke up today with only the things you thanked god for yesterday?
- i wish i had more collared shirts.
- a new harmon's opens up a block from our house next week, and the stuff they sell isn't over-priced!
- it's awkward when my upstairs neighbor sees me in my workout clothes.
- we're still not completely moved in.
- we have no food in our fridge {unless you count sour cream & cheese.}
- i felt it shelter to speak to you.
- my fingers hurt.
- the office starts again on september 22nd.
- i wish we had netflix
- i miss my friends.
- i like not doing my hair
- i hate my blog.
- & furthermore, i should pray more often.

my husband the acoustic instrument player

sometimes he tries to wake me up by serenading me with "confidence" by teddy geiger
and plays trololos on his guitar that get stuck in my head.
every so often he yanks out his "baby" {ukulele} and plays me songs i like to hear.
he's probably trying to seduce me, but mostly i just giggle and bat my eyes like a 14 year old at efy.
he used to be president of the acoustic instruments club at SUU {well, actually, he started it.}
so he's basically pro.
he listens to 90's music that i've never heard of before, but i like.
i really enjoy it when he teaches me new songs on my uke & i really love singing along-- but only by myself! i don't like him listening.
he recently remembered a girl he used to know that is pro-er than her at ukulele,
and i seriously want to be her.
she's so.... well, just watch.

maybe someday i'll get as good as her?
but for now, nick and i will fall asleep watching her youtube videos.
because we're acoustic instrument players.

again, didn't see that coming.

so i guess i'm a true blue after all! 

& no longer a heathen (no offense at all to those still at the U. it's a great school. just not for me)

i can hardly understand everything that's happened in the past few weeks,

but this school just didn't feel right for me.

maybe it's the fact that nobody here gives a kitten about your well-being

&the art teachers are a herd of soul suckers who tell you you're hopeless.

maybe i just can't handle school and work at the same time? 

maybe God has something better planned for me where I can't be at this school to do it. 

for whatever reason, i am proud to announce that i am not a Ute.

my husband is, and i couldn't be prouder of him.

maybe that's why i'm not supposed to be here, so we can actually afford his tuition

so he can become that famous architect he's always wanted to be. 

yep, that's it. 

we're cool! 

i went to my first wedding!

1. aw, the new bride and groom! we hear the salt lake temple.

2. i'm bored on our trip to the dump {we're finally getting rid of that lame Jenn Air}

3. Nick is the lost triplet; same birthdays. 

4. we're kind of cool..

5. watch me get attacked by my own hair

6. wait, where are we??

7. uh, i think we're lost!

8. well, my ring was looking extra gorgeous today

9. and my favorite wedding shoes are distraught.

happy saturday.

my prince charming

guess what? 

my husband is a sweetie pie.

friday night escapade

here's how it's going down:

me

+

the couch

+

lots of blankets

+  

sweats

+

ingrid michaelson station on pandora

+

chocolate? ice cream? chocolate ice cream?

+

more blog revamping

+

pinterest, flickr, all night long.

& if i owned them, a movie marathon of: dan in real life, she's the man, and step up.

circuit breaker... fail.

you know that feeling when you start praying,
but you know that He's not going to answer it?
yesterday both nick and i were having a horrible day.
i'm not used to working 9 hours shifts {hello tuesdays and thursdays}
and everything just seemed to go wrong for him.
we're currently trying to install a new oven because the other one was a Jenn Air
from, like, the '80s.
i like to consider myself  "retro," but when it takes 30 minutes to boil water,
"retro" seems less and less desirable.
anyways,
for the new oven we need a new cord,
so nick, without the oven even plugged in at all,
was trying to see if the cord he bought would fit
and in so doing he flipped the breaker to the whole apartment.
oh, Pat's {our landlord of sorts} and Oko's {our people upstairs} apartments were just fine.
ours was.... not.
nick thought he'd blinded himself because everything went pitch black-- i'm just happy he didn't blow himself up.
when i got home,
{oh, when he picked me up we realized that we couldn't make what we had originally planned for dinner because, hello, no oven, so we went to carl's jr where the lady in the drive thru stole his debit card, literally. we went to get it back and she was a nasty woman-- let's not talk about it.}
i said a quick little prayer for everything to start working.
again, i knew it wouldn't be answered. i just had this feeling.
however, we did everything we could to get the breaker back on,
--no luck.
so we ate our carl's jr by candel light {romantic, right?} and made hand shadows on the wall with our baby flashlight,
and sometime in the morning the electrician showed up and fixed everything.
turns out the breaker to our apartment was outside, not inside like all the others {although we searched the whole exterior of the house for another breaker} and the reason the breaker flipped is because we were trying to plug an oven cord into a dryer outlet. huh? thanks, stupid Jenn Air.
& we're just awesome like that.

a lengthy engagement story; be not quick to judge.

this being the longest day of my up-to-this-point life,
i want to relive a story about when nick and i were engaged: the now second longest day of my life.
ahem.
it was a cold day, probably february.
i can't remember {though i should if only for posterity's sake.}
i had just gotten off a really long and trying shift at Dickey's {they made me stay late, mind you. i was upset.}
then i wandered around with a phone awkwardly glued to my ear while driving a stick shift while i shouted at my mother trying to give me directions to this place i was late to.
i eventually ended up where i needed to be 45 minutes earlier;
nick and i designed our wedding invations with these lovely people.
i was already tired, hungry, and suffereing from what was on the edge of a migraine.
afterwards, {and against all my right-mindedness} we went to ikea.
oh how i hated everything in that store and glared at every pillow and bed sheet.
{it was days like this where i didn't care if i was married in my jeans and nobody came.}
now, you have to understand that i was an emotional wreck:
birth control {oh how i hate that stuff} plus a relatively hard job where they overworked me,
plus wedding stuff, plus the stress of like everything on the planet,
plus it was awful weather and i just hated being engaged-- i wanted marriage!
also, earlier that week nick's mom had taken my ring back to cedar city
so the missing diamond could be replaced before the wedding.
so. i wasn't exactly a pot of flowers.
we walked {i stomped} out of ikea
and thought it proper that we drive to wal mart so he could buy me a temporary replacement ring so i didn't feel so naked and available.
we tried finding a nearby store, but to no avail.
we got lost somewhere in draper and called it quits.
by this time the weather had gotten so bad that my mother told me that i couldn't come home that night.
i started bawling because of who knows why.
i pleaded for her to let me go so i could take a shower and sleep in my own bed,
but nick was given strict orders not to let me drive home and to take me back with him.
so i gave up. i sat in that truck throwing flames at him through my eyes and bawling the entire time.
we got to his apartment and he gave me my space.
i pulled on some of his pajamas,
demanded that he gave me his softest, warmest blanket
fixed me two bags of top ramen
and ate it while glaring at the TV.
i fell asleep crying on the foam pads nick was using as a bed {did you know that he didn't have a bed until we got ours 2 days before the wedding?}
and he oh so softly slipped his arm around my waist.
and, you know,
everything was okay.
i liked having him next to me, despite my prior knowledge that i conquered all on my own.
{and, trust me, we didn't do anything naughty.}
and for some strange reason i have yet to find,
he liked sleeping next to me too even when i didn't want anything to do with him.
and such is the story of my life.
i get to the edge where i seem to be doing everything wrong and everything is wrong in return,
but something my sweet husband does for me brings me back and everything makes sense.
being engaged sucks; being married rules.
and.. the end.

now that it's september...

i'm turning 19, which means i get 19 wishes.
this would be the most perfect {and realistic} birthday ever.

1. start the morning off with a visit to the Salt Lake Temple.
2. breakfast at Bruges Waffles
3. new hair appointment. i'm definitely going for the Christina Perri with lots of layers.
4. a shopping trip with my momma and sisters {while nick is at school}
5. at least one new outfit, pleeeeeease {cardigans... skirts.... dresses...belts...tights/leggings...}
6. new makeup, maybe?
7. and for all that is holy may i please have a curling iron? {coughNICKcough}
8. a trip to the Beehive Tea Room for a coconut italian soda
9. the joy of seeing 3:30pm come and go without having to go to work
10. getting all cute and fancy..
11. a certain cute boy shows up a the door with flowers
12. dinner date with my handsome husband! what a surprise! one word: tucanos.
13. a dinner present... photoshop!? you shouldn't have.
14. perhaps my family will join me in my quarters this evening for some toast...
15. more presents?!..
16. new glasses.. we all know what those would be.
17. a tub of chocolate covered raisins from costco.
18. and a big, bulky, brightly colored scarf to welcome in the fall season.
19. and last but not least, birthday CAKE! {i like cake more than cupcakes} the bruce bogtrotter, or anything with cream cheese on it. perhaps we'll make another homemade carrot cake like we did for our celebratory "we moved in" dessert. then i will proceed to blow out the candles, make a wish, and everything will be perfect.

on the other hand,
give me a hug, let me cuddle with my husband for a bit, and i'm set.
but, oh, isn't it so fun to dream?