(photo from last year in Brooklyn. please take me back!)
what would you do if nobody was ever going to see it?
a little while ago i heard a profound statement that really stuck with me. it's the idea that people only do things if it adds to their story. for example, if someone saw a man in a wheelchair trying to get through a door, the thought that goes through their mind is "am i the kind of person who helps this kind of man in this way?" and if they are, they do it. this in turn leads to adding to and creating their being, or their "story."
basically, people make decisions based on stories/analogies they create based on experience, what they've seen and what they've done. does that make sense? i'm bad at explaining my thought processes. (the whole idea is from the book "Sources of Power: How People Make Decisions" by Gary Klein, if you're interested)
so this isn't news. you make emotional decisions every day based on the person you are/want to be/are trying to become, which is awesome because we have unlimited opportunities to be whoever we want to be.
but i think that social media plays a big part in that as well, blogging included. i feel like i'm constantly seeking out/reading stories that i enjoy but aren't my own. and subconsciously, when i do something, i first think, "is this adding to my story the way i want to create it?" ... or, "is this something so-and-so would do?" and my actions and behaviors reflect my thoughts.
i guess sometimes i have to sit back and think, "if no one would ever see this, would i still post it/do it/dress like this/do my hair this way/decorate my house like this/paint my toes like that?" and i hope that whatever i would do is exactly what i'm doing. so i have two choices: either i accept my life the way it is, moody-sweats-&-4-bowls-of-lucky-charms-mornings and all, and not be embarrassed to share my story, OR i take a hold of my life and make it the way i want it, so if someone were to see a portion of it, it's portraying my story exactly as i hope it would.
to start, here's a secret: i love to be girly. i love polka dots and stripes, i love the color pink, gold, glitter, diamonds, New York City, brightly colored tights, high heels, doing my hair, bangs, my glasses, photography, all kinds of lipstick and nail polish, fresh flowers, Zooey Deschanel, calligraphy, the color white, thrift shopping, wearing skirts and dresses, washi tape, makeup, cupcakes, hamburgers, traveling, big cities, and graphic design. my dream is to throw a really awesome party that is so creative that pinterest explodes. so i guess you could say i'm a typical blogger. but i'll be the first to admit that i try not to show my interests because i want to stand out and not be a stereotype. "if all the bloggers are into saltwater sandals this summer, i'm totally not buying any because i don't want to be another one of those people." i want to be "cool and hip" in an original sort of way. but to be for reals, i looooooove all that stuff and it makes me really happy. and i wish i owned a pair of saltwaters. so, really, who cares what other people think? bring on all the cute things! (at least that's the goal here)
so.. what do you think? do you ever catch yourself acting/thinking like this? what do you do to get out of the habit and love yourself the way you are?
i'm really very curious :)